Online ‘dating’?

What a hefty topic for my first blog post, yikes. I asked people on Twitter and this was the most voted on so here we are. First thing’s first this is probably the worst topic for someone who’s never been in a relationship so don’t expect miracles here.

So let’s dive right in, there’s a bunch of dating apps out there ranging from Tinder to Grindr, OKCupid to PlentyOfFish, ChristianMingle to (something of which I had to Google for the sakes of this and before you ask no I’m not on there). Everyone has a niche and what they want from online dating be it a hookup, a relationship or just being treated to a fancy dinner by some elderly American millionaire somewhere in Mayfair, the possibilities are endless. But let’s get into ones I have the most personal experience with those being Tinder and Grindr.

Let’s get the cat out of the bag and discuss Grindr shall we, that app full of joy, friendship and no judgement what. so. ever. Wait no, I must’ve been thinking about being dead because it’s nothing like that at all. Grindr is the app most gay men use first as it’s the most popular out there within the community, it’s got a name for itself and it’s as if the entire gay population has it automatically installed on their iPhones when they buy it. This was the first one I ever got, aged 17 and scared (fair enough I’m 19 and still scared but that’s besides the point) looking to make friends with other gay people in my area. If you know my hometown whatsoever you know the amount of LGBT representation there is probably larger in the middle of the Atlantic Ocean, it still resides in the era where two men holding hands is a crime essentially, so to talk to someone my age in the same situation was ideal! Then I discovered why the app was 18+ to begin with, unsolicited dick pics, messages to fuck behind the local Tesco and online drug deals. Fantastic! What a great way to introduce me into the gay community! Loved it! As time’s gone on I’ve learned to filter these messages out and just not respond to them, but still I get the occasional “you near the gay sauna? wanna fuck?” message which as flattering as it is, it’s a no from me. Besides all this the world of Grindr is full of ‘Masc4Masc’, ‘no fats, no fems’ and ‘straight acting’ men making it an awful app to be a part of, the shaming that comes from this app is PHENOMENAL, and I mean that. People won’t speak if you’re an inch below what they want, you’re not allowed to ‘act like a woman’ because they ‘like men for a reason, men should be men’ and if you haven’t got that perfect chiseled body or white smile you might as well jump out of a window because your chances of a reply are slimmer than you surviving that fall. I’ve had my fair share of shaming on there saying I shouldn’t be such a fag or that I lead people on because I don’t share nude photos with them, listen pal I didn’t ask for that photo of your penis so gladly take it elsewhere cheers. It’s safe to say I’m not a regular user of this at all anymore.

Secondly Tinder, this is more of a pleasantry than the horrors of Gr*ndr. Tinder is a swipe based app where you swipe yes or no to people based on photos and common interests, it uses your Facebook information (so if you’ve got a stupid Facebook name like Jamiiieeee when your name’s Jamie don’t hold out your hopes on much from this) and tells you if you and the person have mutual friends. The best thing about Tinder is that you can only message those who have also said yes to you, making it more personal immediately letting you know you’re both mutually interested in each other. The worst thing about Tinder is that it’s an app based on appearance mostly, you swipe yes on attractive people and no to ugly people which in itself seems really, I dunno but you get where I’m going. Essentially Tinder is a vanity show in little words, the people you think you’d look good with. However I can’t slate Tinder I’ve made a few friends through the app, not everyones here for a quick seedy shag or a relationship which is refreshing, friends I still have to this day and probably texted in the last hour. In terms of actual Tinder dates, theres been approximately 3, two of which ended in friendship so it’s not all that bad. I’d say Tinder’s probably one of the best ones purely as it’s based off interests as well so you could meet some great people. I deleted Tinder about 2 months ago and re-downloaded it just for this and apparently there’s GIF messaging now so if that’s not a deal maker I don’t know what is.


This is probably the longest thing I’ve written in a long time and really rambled on about this, if you enjoyed this to a degree then I’m open to comments and feedback. Honestly can’t say when I’ll make another post but there’ll be one at some point.

I don’t know.


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